you know what i hate? drama.

Sigh. Don't you hate it when your "friends" disappoint you and allow you to be disrespected. Yes, me too. Double sigh. Well, sadly one of my friends did just that. He allowed his fuck buddy (I refuse to call her his girlfriend, because that would imply they are in a committed and exclusie relationship) to call me horrid things and he just walked away. Thanks, buddy. So, it should come as no surprise that he and I are no longer friends, nor will we ever be.

Saturday night I went to his birthday party with Arin and everything was fine. I was dancing with my lucky charm, Lorri and our friend Stacy, chatting with Mike and Donnie, just making the rounds. Everyone was drinking, dancing and generally having a good time. Well, except the psycho bitch who calls herself his girlfriend, she wasn't having any fun at all.

The night was winding down and instead of dancing we were all chilling on the couch. Sanders and Lorri were sitting together on the couch and I was sitting on Arin's lap. We were all just chatting, but it was getting late and Gil and Lorri had to leave, so I took Lorri's spot on the couch. Sanders put his legs over ours and had his hand on the back of the couch, sort of on my shoulders. I had one hand on Arin's leg and one on Sanders', which was draped across our laps. To any sane person they would see how non-sexual the whole encounter was, but I guess that doesn't mean anything to FB (fuck budddy.) I was sort of passing out and had my eyes closed so I'm not exactly sure how things played out but at some point psycho bitch walked in and started yelling at me.

This bitch is insane and just wants to hate someone besides herself. Her relationship is a complete lie, so it would just be easier to hate me for something untrue, than to hate herself for staying with someone that doesn't love her. She starts saying things like "why don't you just fuck him, you know you want to." I was pretty drunk, tired and confused by the whole thing so it took me a minute to realize she was talking to me. Once I realized she was directing her insane statements in my direction, I said "Oh I don't know....maybe because I love my boyfriend and I'm going to marry him someday." hehe. Score one for Kim, the bitch is obsessed with marrying Sanders, so I had to add in a jibe that I'm in a serious relationship that may end up in marriage, rather than being in a pointless, completely sexual relationship like she is.

Then she said some more bullshit about God knows what, saying things like "I love to love" whatever the FUCK that means. For a second I thought maybe she had come back to reality and I tried to just finally say that I'm not the problem, that all the other females in Sanders' life are, but I guess that made her even more enraged and she literally pushed Arin and me. I was yelling "fuck this shit" and we walked out. Mikey (being the awesome guy he is) followed and was like "hey, don't worry about her" to which I said "I could care less about that crazy bitch, but Sanders needs to fucking quit being a pussy and tell her he doesn't love her"

Mike had to go back in and get my phone and when he came back out psycho came out and was yelling all this shit and I was just like FUCK YOU. Arin and I left and headed to Gil and Lorri's so we could calm down a bit. We talked with Gil and Lorri for a long time, and it feels so good to have such amazing friends that will let you come over and vent at 4 am. The whole time at their apartment I exchanged some texts with Sanders and repeatedly told him that I refuse to be the scapegoat in his terrible relationship and that I will never be disrespected by his fuck buddy. and then I told him to never contact me again and that we were no longer friends.

Sooo. The next day rolls around and I realize I left all my alcohol at Sanders' place. Aweeesome. So, since I refuse to speak to him, Arin calls him to let him know that we will be stopping by to get my stuff. The two of them have a bit of a heart to heart, and it seems that Sanders didn't really remember all that happened the night before and FB seemed to be painting a completely different picture. Arin set him straight on the actual events, because she was the only sober person in the house at that point. After work, she and I went over to Sanders' and Mikey's place. I walked in, got my stuff and proceeded to tell Sanders everything that was on my mind. I don't think I was too harsh on him, though he did look miserable while I was talking. I said that I did not appreciate being disrespected like that, and I thought that he was my friend and might have done *something* to help alleviate the situation instead of walking away. I said that I refuse to ever be around FB again and that she is very lucky she didn't get punched in the face by myself or Arin for pushing us. I said that she is insane and that he needs to own up to her about their "relationship" and figure something out. Before leaving I made it fairly clear that I will not be speaking to him. I told him he could contact me if he wanted, said bye to Mike and left. I do feel bad that Mikey had to witness all that, but I don't think he really minded.

After all this Arin and I went out for a victory dinner and then met up with a co-worker, Nick, for a beer!

so. yea. i fucking hate drama. i'm so over this. It's time to grow the fuck up. Immature people make *me* feel insane. I am a bit sad to lose Sanders as a friend, though if he is going to leave me in a situation like that, maybe I don't want him as a friend after all.

SO. to my REAL friends, I love you guys so much and without you I wouldn't have made it these 22 years. You are amazing, and even if we don't get to talk or see each other much, you are in my heart always.

MUCH LOVE.